i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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