I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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