hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
