i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
