Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
