I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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