Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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