i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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