I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
