At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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