Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
