people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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