Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
