Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
