If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
