the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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