i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
