did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
