Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
