she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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