my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
