I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
