It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
