last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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