you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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