He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
