he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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