There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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