your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
