I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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