I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Houston, we have a blender
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
