you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
