I'm drive I can fine osifer
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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