I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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