this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
