College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
