you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
