remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
