Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
