Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
