so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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