ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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