and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
