So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
