Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
