found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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