I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
