the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
