I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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