I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
