Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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