Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
