Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
