if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want her autograph on my taint
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm like, not good at living.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
