haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
