my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
